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eskielover · Dec 22, 2022, 08:50 AM

When I came here in 2004, I was a total mess & nothing had helped for 13 years before that.

I was dealing with Major Depression, anxiety, & anorexia & a bad marriage of 29 years & many sui attempts during those last 13 years. My mom was dying of cancer. Ended up going through a trauma with the home care person I caught abusing my mom & police got involved. After my mom died in Jan 2005, it took me a year before I could go back in her house where all the trauma happened. Finally got the house sold oct 2006 & put all the money in my trust so my husband couldn't touch it.

In 2007, I took a trip to Ky (from Calif where I had lived all my life). Knew if I didn't buy a farm when I was there I would return to Calif & be trapped there the rest of my life. Bought my small farm, packed a suitcase & my dog Leo & flew back for the closing on my farm & to start my new life.

The minute I walked into my farm house, my life began to change for the better. It was not like a new chapter in my life, it was like a whole new book. I had problems & issues along the way. I found a wonderful therapist who when she retired told me when I came to her she thought she would never be able to tear down the concrete walls I had built. She got me involved in a 2 year intense DBT program with another wonderful therapist & she became my private thetapist when my other one retired. Kept going for a few more years, more as just someone to talk things through so not to bother friends. She got me through my divorce, & legal battles with my ex but mostly she brought out what had been hidden inside me all my life & helped me integrate my past (dysfunctional parents & husband) so I understood my reactions to things now & how to respond functionally with the functional (& dysfunctional) people I run into in life now.

All my crap was basically "situational" mental health issues but they were enough to end my computer engineering career & throw me into dissability in 1994.

Now I am totally recovered & leading a more normal, functional life than ever before in my life. Never been happier or felt more peace even through major losses of my fur babies & horse over the last 4 1/2 years. Think owning my little farm with woods & streams & surrounded by nature has also been a wonderful part of my healing.

Don't come to MSF often any more but still check in once in awhile. Was a major part of my life for a long time. Not that easy to just leave......& maybe my healing can be an inspiration & encouragement to some who need it