@openeyes

I said before that things began to change during Covid.

The kids were really, really effected by the lockdown. So was she.

I made the mistake of saying things like, "This is hard, but the kids need you. I know you are struggling but so are they. I can't homeschool them and work from home. If I can't work from home I risk being put off work by my employer and I'm the only income."

That got a flurry of comebacks each time, which, each time, culminated with, "But you looked at p0rn and lied about it."

THE DAY I said, "Yes, I did, and I will be sorry for that for the rest of my life, but it doesn't mean you are right ever after because of that," things began to change between us.

As soon as I had any level of expectation from her, things began to change.

The best example, which the kids witnessed happen, was her getting angry at me for the house not being clean enough, though I was working and renovating the house. I was doing dishes at the moment. I replied, "OK, I understand you being upset with the state of the house. Since we are talking like that, please quit putting your take out coffee cups in the sink. They aren't dishes, they're garbage."

She doubled down and got angrier at me. I said again, "I know, you are frustrated with the division of chores in the house, and need me to do different things when it comes to cleaning. OK. But please quit putting your coffee cups in the sink or on the counter for me to clean up. They're garbage. Dump them and throw them out."

That was enough of an affront that she was still bringing it up a year later.

Yes, for real.

The more I say this stuff out loud, the more I realize I have had blinders on for a long time.

I'm starting to look at properties.

This sucks. Both for personal and religious reasons, I believe in marriage for life. This was supposed to be my person forever.