So I've come to the realization that I've essentially made myself less attractive to my wife by becoming a loner/ homebody. I've seen several articles of how women desire Alpha males and although the Beta male type is great for the house it's not what women are attracted to on a sexual level.

It made sense to me because when I met my wife I was active doing Kung fu, had a good support network etc. My jobs changed became more demanding marriage and kids and 14 years later, I am no longer an alpha male.

Even if I'm not able to save this I need to get back to where I was before marriage. It may save it and give me back things I enjoyed and create something that my wife was missing.

I'm going to start by taking either yoga Tai chi classes to get back into some type of outside activities and start growing my circle of Freinds outside the marriage. My wife freinded all my Freinds so I have few outside our marriage and I think I need that.

I also looked up emotionally unavailable people and it was quite interesting how similar things match and how they have gone for me.

Why it took me this long to do something about it I have no clue. I'm going to start the changes I have control over, go to counseling and prepare for my future either with or without my wife. But my mistake was truly making her my everything. I put my eggs into one basket and that is way to dangerous and unhealthy I see now. I also feel it is only driving her away from Intimacy. I have to make it through holidays first but will start asap.