not at this point.. no Maybe someday.. i want to believe that is possible so i don't give up... but i've had a set back and i feel pretty hopeless. If i cook for myself i will throw up. No doubt in my mind. Tomorrow i am cooking for friends at their house... so i will eat something.. whether i get to keep it will depend on if i have the opportunity afterwards,

i read someplace once that it is not uncommon for ED peoples to enjoy making food for others... like a displaced need... needing food and comfort but giving it to someone else. i dont know. maybe i amjust crazy.

i feel really sad and hopeless today