I am sorry Buffy. That's a horribly feeling to endure constantly. To me, it can make me feel powerful at times, and give me energy to burn through. But overall, it's a fire that burns my heart, my body, and my soul.
I have been working on letting go of it with some success. It's uncomfortable, and I feel weaker now than I ever did before. But I also feel more, I even smell more, as my senses are less tied by this this all-consuming emotion.
I wish for both of us, to work through the anger and the underlying fear and sadness (and whatever else there is) and one day live a full day, to be just present with the smells and taste of a beautiful day in spring.