It makes me sick, too.
I meditate (though lately, with some difficulty).
I stopped fully submitting my life to my families wishes. I still see them, and I still do things for them, but I do them more on my terms now then ever before. I never visit the worst parts of my family anymore. I don't stay in contact with my cousins who were abused by their primary caregiver when we were all children either...
I do sports. Espacially when I get angry. In the summer, I took my bike out for hours even after work. Once, when I got angry with a collegue, I just took a break and rode my bike for an hour, and then had a slow lunch. I work from at home.
I go to therapy. I tell T about some of the horrible thoughts I have, and still he stays and is my T (though he had a lot of doubts at the beginning and mybe still does).
I wind down, watching old TV shows. Mostly shows I have watched a million times before. No surprises.
I cuddle my stuffed animals and sometimes I talk to them.
I make as sure as I can with my limited influence that my neffew has a good life. It brings me joy when I see him happy. Unless he hits plants! Then I get to explain to him calmly and repeatedly that we don't hurt living creatures. In case he has the same genetic predisposition as I do, I want him to have a strong, secure moral understanding. And of course a happy childhood with healthy boundaries.
I do small things I like. Too rarely as of now, but I'll make more time for those in the future. You know, like food, a book, a movie, a walk, whatever brings me joy.
I am changing careers. My old one didn't really suit me. It burned me out. This one is much better.

The key for me was and is, as they say, baby steps.