Fighting on holidays or needing to leave early is a typical thing people like him do. I suspect he often wanted to leave early because he had to get high and it’s not possible at family gathering.

I had a significant other like that. He had a problem staying late at events because he had to drink (beyond a glass of wine)and at some events drinking to access is inappropriate, like family Thanksgiving dinner so he’d need to go home drink.

But even in absence of substance abuse, people like your husband just want all attention on them. If that doesn’t happen, then he wants to leave. He can’t give attention to others.

Sadly my father is like that. And there are no substances involved. Now he is elderly so that’s different. But his whole life he’d either cause fights on holidays or demanded to leave early. The only time he’d not cause a fight or leave early would be event about him. Like if it’s honoring him miraculously he’d be perfectly fine and enjoying himself.

I bet you feel liberated being able to go places and do things and not worry about fights or having to leave early. It’s refreshing