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TishaBuv
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TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
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Trig Dec 24, 2022 at 11:50 AM
 
Plus, I am there for everyone else. I make holidays and birthdays for all the others close to me. They are mostly happy occasions the birthdays for the others. *I have sadly allowed my emotional dysregulation to ruin some major events in recent years.

I had a meltdown and declined going out to dinner to celebrate my son’s 20th birthday. It was due to fighting with husband about our chronic intimacy issue. The day was ruined for me, by me and my emotional lability. My husband, as usual, acted like he just didn’t know what to do in front of the kids. We told them to go to dinner themselves. Our son was 20 and brought home his gf (his now wife). So I thought the kids would all have a good time together and didn’t need the parents there anyway considering. I had self medicated and was emotionally exhausted and non functioning.

In the moment, my kids did not react in any way, not anger at me, not empathy either. I later learned my son was furious with me. I was deemed toxic. I have since apologized. I appear to be the sole culprit, the toxic abuser, the sick person that they resent.

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Last edited by TishaBuv; Dec 24, 2022 at 11:58 AM.. Reason: Add more
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