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Dec 25, 2022, 10:39 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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It makes perfect sense @lizardlady. Not only that, I believe that what you're going through (and what I'm fighting against and crying while going through, too) is miserably normal. I hate to say it, but....normal.
My parents are dead, my grandparents are dead, all aunts and uncles - gone (as are my husband's). The only cousin I had who was just my age (we grew up together) was cruelly taken bit by bit by cancer a few years ago. One of my precious two sisters is gone. My other sister has developed dementia this year. My sister-friend of 53 years (I call her that because my mom was mentally ill and at times when she was hospitalized I lived with my sister-friend) died suddenly of a heart attack in 2021. 4 of 5 of my cats are elderly now. And I'm turning 60 this week. Seven years ago I left my job of 15 years and I lost that identity, haven't rediscovered it since. My precious daughter, for some completely unknown reason, stopped communicating with both my husband's and my families 5 years ago. Occasionally, she does call my husband or my son (her brother). Says she "needs space." We were best buds for 32 years then *bang*. I cry every day because my heart is shattered. She lives and teaches at a univ in NYC. My son is the light of my life, but he lives in San Fran, works almost constantly, then travels and I see him 3 times a year. I haven't lived with my husband for 20 years, we don't have friends or anything resembling "normal." It goes on. Just so much grief and loss.
I'm sorry; I didn't intend to hijack your thread. And my God, I didn't mean to write all that, it just poured out. Geez. My point is to say I understand.
But your ability to be "more accepting" is a tremendous step. More accepting is something I aspire to. Don't minimize that achievement.
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