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Open Eyes
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Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
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Default Dec 26, 2022 at 03:50 AM
 
When looking at these guides to what a healthy relationship is supposed to be, there are different factors that need to be considered. Your husband may have ADD or ADHD and he may not be able to function or see things the way you do. It’s not a question of failure but more of the way he is wired. How a person is wired goes into how their personality develops.
I had to learn this because I raised a child that has dyslexia and I think she may also have adhd like her father and grandfather. I had to learn how she is different and how to help her so learned how she learns. Having these challenges doesn’t mean low IQ either. Actually IQ can be at genius level. However, because of being wired differently, there can be challenges where it is not as easy for them to see and understand you the way you want.

I sympathize with you as I have been married for 42 years and there are things I have never been able to get my husband to understand. People can be complex and there can be some challenges that present problems in a relationship that keep it from being some textbook healthy. This doesn’t mean you failed and it can most definitely lead to emotional frustration.

There are things you have shared that I have had to deal with too. I have wanted to say something yet at the same time not offend someone who may have ADD or ADHD. What I do know is the deficit in attention is very frustrating. I have been fortunate to have two different therapists that are more like me that are married to someone with ADHD. It can get exhausting to live with. It’s not that the spouse is bad, it’s more the kind of environment their presence creates.
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Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, TishaBuv