Then a few more days to settle down from New Years I think it's best if I just give up on him. I'll answer if he calls me, but he hasn't since summer. I don't even know if anyone would tell me if he died. I don't know who his emergency contact is but it's certainly not me or my mom anymore and I'm not in touch with anyone on his side of the family or any of his friend anymore.

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There are still thousands of people in NH without power. My favorite ski area is still closed for maintenance. My local mountain is open and they say their groomers did an "outstanding job" at restoring surfaces but I think we all know that means frozen granular which is fun to ski on but not so fun to fall on.

I've given up on hiding my purging from my mom. When she hears me I just say it's from anxiety. She buys it because during the day she's not home and I've told her I have terrible anxiety at night (which is not untrue). I told her my pdoc put me on a new med for it (and I'm starting a new med for depression/sleep so not totally untrue either). I really am working on it. I've been slacking though lately, purging 7 times over the past three days. I blame the holidays and this depression/anxiety.

I've been working out like crazy too. I'm running every day it's above 15dF when I wake up and doing 2-3 workouts from Youtube a day. Today it was exactly 15dF when I went out and I could only do a 15 minute run before my face was stinging too much.

Pemi is fccking psycho, especially compared to Saco. I woke up at 3am and he kept asking me to play with him (of course I did for about 10 minutes). That cat can run around for hours on end. Saco's still a trouble maker too, but he doesn't act like he needs Adderall 24/7. Bo's still doing well for a 19 year old with cancer and kidney disease and Lu is so kitten like our actual kittens want to play with her, but she'll have nothing of it.

Here's a picture of the kittens when they're not being trouble makers: