Thank you, you put into words better than I could. That is my focus 100%, and I need to get in a healthy place, she already grieved for out marriage and I have not.

I also told her to explore what she does desire in order to be intimate because she needs to find her happiness too.

I'm going to admit I'm a little ashamed but I saw that she joined a fetish group. She wants to explore being submissive.

She has an event she is interested in going to at a coffee shop later this month.

I will need to be OK with letting go of that ideal but I told her there will always be a part of me thst loves her. We have 2 beautiful children and she is a great mom. That was the other reason we will continue to Co parent. I still need to deal with filing divorce a d go through lots of counseling but I think we can set ourselves up to be great parents for our kids.

I'll continue to update but appreciate this forum to where I can unpack all this.