My psychiatrist said in her opinion BPD does fit but she’s hesitant to give me the actual diagnosis because I’ve grown a lot over the years and am a lot more stable than I used to be. She said the dissociation I experience though is not related to me having that but is from experiencing the traumas at the young age I did.

Anyway, I kind of had to fill her in on some things because she didn’t get a chance to be filled in by my therapist before our appointment today. So that was hard. I almost cried on the phone with her. I’m glad it was over phone. Normally we do video calls, that would have been extremely embarrassing. She said she’s really proud of me and is glad that I am talking about these things, she said I was brave.

I did cry after/am crying now. I don’t know why, I feel like things in the past shouldn’t affect me this much.

We talked about how bringing up all this stressful stuff in therapy has affected me over the past couple weeks. She’s adding Remeron to my night meds and changing my klonopin prn to 3 times a day just to get me through this difficult period.

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