Hugs, Omers. Because you're having so much trouble finding anyone else, is it possible you could talk to new T during this session and see if maybe he could still work to meet your goals? I know you had a huge rupture. But I've had some with my T (including one big enough that I terminated briefly a few years ago), and we've managed to work through them and work together (though we still have our issues, and I know certain topics can be risky territory with him).

Wondering if you could even use him on more of a restricted basis in terms of topics/situations, like, you don't go to him for crises, he doesn't pressure you about leaving your H, stuff like that? Or "We are going to focus on this list of goals, and that is it." It's far from ideal, but if you still see any promise in him at all, it's something to consider. Assuming he would consider it, of course!

I'm thinking of how when I terminated with Dr. T a few years ago, a couple weeks later I requested a session. I think he assumed it was a more formal termination session, as the previous one had been ugly (and I didn't know I was going to terminate when I walked in the door). Partway through that session, he asked what I was hoping to get from it, what had led me to come in. I said it was partly to see if I still felt I could work with him. And I did. But I wouldn't have known that until I actually sat down and talked to him for a bit, to see that I still felt a connection.

You may, of course, sit down and talk to New T and be like, "nope!" after 15 minutes. But something to think about. Whatever happens, I hope the session is helpful to you in some way.