My brother just left. We had a good time. We went to the walking track (Literally had a blizzard last week and it's in the 60s now... crazy.) and I enjoyed being out for a little while. My brother leaves tomorrow so I won't see him again before he leaves. We had a little bonding moment talking about mom and how she can be a hassle sometimes. It was refreshing. I'm not close with any of my siblings, but I think the little I can find ways to relate, maybe I could foster a better relationship. I have a lot of reasons I won't get into right now why we're not close, but it just makes the "instinct" of being close seem like a joke. That kind of thing is fostered when you're young. I just lack that. I'm glad however he is in my life, however little that is. His kids are really something too.

My therapy went well. Since it was my last day with her, it was a little sad. However we made sure everything was set up for my replacement, someone qualified (as best as possible) and gave me some tips and ideas on how to try to keep momentum with my therapy and start over at the same time. I'm hoping it is just temporary (if I get my appeal approved, I will be seeing her again), but if not, I can at least say working with her has taught me at least one thing about myself that I a year ago could not believe -- that I can foster a relationship with someone that is not problematic. Granted, a therapist-patient relationship is kinda based on a therapist being empathetic, understanding, knowledgeable, and reasonable... but it's still a start. It's still something and negates the idea I CAN'T, it may be hard... but I'm still working on making that work for me. She also left me with her email so I can keep her informed on the disability front and so she can help with the transition as needed from my perspective. I really appreciate that a lot. Next Thursday I meet my new therapist-- it is one she recommended and apparently comes "highly desired" according to the clinic. I have some really good ideas of ways to get the ball rolling.


I consider walking today kind of my "treat" for getting a lot of stuff I needed done this week, done. Things I was putting off and things that I had a really hard time initiating. My increased mood has really helped with that, and I'm not gonna waste these moments. I'm "accumulating use of the positive" now , so that if I do dip again soon, I have a bit of a safety net in terms of responsibilities. I hope I stay on the higher end of the spectrum though.