What you describe is that you are dealing with individuals that have addiction problems and are living in denial.

People like this make bad life decisions and often attach to others that also have addiction issues. They tend to continue living in denial and constantly looking to blame others. Always needing validation always the victim and still in denial about their self medicating habits.

They look for an emotional patsy that will support how they are a victim even when this other person has never met this so called abuser. They can sway from being fragile and needy to coming off as strong and knowing all about abuse, all the while hiding their own self medicating addiction.

Best thing to do is walk away and stop getting sucked into the constant drama.