At 19 I went into my depression. First psychotic break at 20, released from hospital on 21st birthday. Took the meds for like 2 or 3 months then stopped. Everything improved after that somewhat. Little over 2 years I got of chaotic abuse that I consider close to normalcy as ive seen in a while.

Then on my 24th birthday I got hospitilized again.... this time it was much worse. I didnt respond to the nedication well and ive been stuck in it ever since. Ive been trying to get off the second i started it just to fail everytime. No jobs, no hobbies other than non productive and non paying ones. Picked up smokong, then just this past month ive been drinking more than ever. The more i try to climb out my pit the deeper i end up in it.

I stopped my antidepressant and im not getting my next injection on the 3rd of jan. Im just done.