I've been house shopping with my kids. They are happy and excited. I found a place with a small apartment attached, suitable for a young man to make his first place. We'll see if I can get financing for it.

I'm shaking writing this, and have been stomach sick all evening.

This is terrifying to me and heartbreaking.

I'm re-examining every mistake, wondering what I could do different or how I could reach her.

I've always felt like I needed someone, like I can do the day to day stuff but needed a partner who was the brains of the operation.

Despite all the responsibility I've had, I always felt like it was shared and like I was partnered with someone smarter than me who will help me find solutions.

This hurts so much and I'm scared. This was our "together" town, where we would build a united future, in our forever home.

25 years together. I don't hate her, I'm not angry at her. I really think she's not mentally well.

It would be easier to be angry.

RDM