I didn't manage to do anything today. I went to take a shower. Then I turned around and came back to the livingroom. In a minute, I'm going to go take the shower, maybe.

I feel a mild sense of panic. I'm not alright. I've been reminding myself that episodes of depression always blow over and then I can be fine for quite a while. This time it's lasting too long.

There's really no one I can talk to. My sister texted me today. She keeps in touch, which is very nice. I learned long ago not to mention depression to her. She told me some years back that I create my own problems by "dwelling on things." She said she had plenty of things she could get depressed about, but she didn't allow herself to get that way. Nice though she can be, she is very judgemental about some things. So I always tell her I'm just fine. I wish there was some kind of peer support group IRL that I could join. In the past, there was something like that near me, but it didn't last. It was a drop-in center and attracted nice people.

The main thing is I better leave the house tomorrow. Somehow I went from doing quite well for a good while to where I'm not doing well at all. I just want to get back to how I was.