I like what Rose said. It's so true. We all struggle with these kinds of thoughts from time to time, especially if one is intelligent, and life does not seem to be rewarding us with the kinds of things we'd hoped to gain from it, by now.

You'll have to arrive at your own conclusions about it all. No one can tell you how to feel about these things. My only advice : Be gentle with yourself.

Personally, I try to take it one day at a time---that's enough for me. I used to be able to take on so much more. But it's okay that it's this way, and I have grown accustomed to it. A person can get by like this, until you're stronger, and can do more, and perhaps even think differently.

I hope you will find a calmer and quieter place, soon.