Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover
If he can say something to you and it ruins your day or causes your emotions to change for any noticeable amount of time, he is in control of something. Indifference is no emotion. If he speaks to you and it causes anger, that's not indifference. If he finds another woman and it causes jealous feelings, that's not indifference. If his actions (not responding to a text) causes frustration, that's not indifference. It’s normal to feel some things.
I've learned that healing is about the damage caused. Indifference is about the scars that are left behind, accepting them and knowing you can't change how the scars came to be you can only change how the scars affect you. And not letting them affect you allows you to be indifferent.
I hope that you focus on your relationship with yourself. From an outside perspective, saying your choice to relax vs drinking on NYE was lame and kicking yourself for being taken in by promises are forms of self criticism and self punishment. You don't deserve to be criticized and punished.
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Good post. I’d say though that full indifference might not be attainable. I usually get along with my ex husband just fine, but there were few times over the years when he pissed me off. We divorced many years ago and obviously have no interest in each other, yet I can’t say that we can’t possibly affect each other on some occasion in some ways by things we say or do. I think it depends.
Choosing to relax on holidays is a good choice imho. Not lame. In my books drinking is more lame but I know it’s not a popular opinion. I agree that self criticism isn’t needed. Self acceptance is a healthier choice. Not easy though