Dear K,

What I wanted to write on the end of that message was "I would really like to see you, human to human, at some point in the year", but I'm not ready to hear the possible answer. I'm not ready to hear you say that you don't feel it's right, or that you don't want to.

And whilst I would love it, I also think I have some more work to do, on my past, before that happens (it it ever would). I want to free myself from those chains that tie me down, and that has to be my focus right now.

I would love one day to be free of that trauma, and to meet with you. To tell you that I did it. To tell you that I faced it and that I processed it all. That would mean far more to me than meeting you where I am at right now.

Anyway, I still love you and I think I always will,

Me.