I am SO lucky and I feel SO blessed.

I left him before he could destroy me and before he could discard me for another woman. I read countless stories of this exact scenario on my Facebook abuse groups.. of the infamous "discard" that occurs with narcs, even after telling you that they love you and can't live without you, and just a mere week later, they leave you for another woman. I am so lucky that this did not happen to me. I am SO lucky that I had the fortitude to call it quits before he could seriously hurt me again. Because a discard of that nature would have ruined me, and I know this. He almost did it once before with his female co-worker, whom he was grooming as new supply.

I feel awful for these women who have been discarded. I really don't think I could have survived that. When my ex fiance told me that he loved his other fiance more than me, it took me two full years to get over it and past it. TWO years, and we were only together for ONE year. I was devastated and full of rage towards him over that alone. I had helped him in so many different ways, and for him to say that to me, was just he cruelest thing he could have ever done. I was used and abused then discarded. And he was a narc too, I do believe.

If I had been discarded again by my husband, my mental health would have downward spiraled.

So, I keep thinking how lucky and truly blessed I am to have left him first. He told me I ghosted him. Well, I pretty much did. I abandoned him in a time of need. But I do not regret it, because I was saving myself, and that was more important to me than holding his hand through the loss of his mother. I finally showed myself self care and self love by doing so.

I am proud of myself for this.