Wow this is hard.

I still feel so crazy, and feel like it's not that bad, or it's all my fault.

At the slightest waiver or indication of regret, my kids lose it. They want out so bad.

Oldest said," One more time Dad, and I'm taking an "away" job with my union and you can figure this all put on your own." Second kid said, "as soon as I'm allowed to choose where I live I'm going to his house."

I LOVE this house. This was my forever home. The oldest took that away yesterday when he said," I've never had a family home. Please can we have a family home before I'm too old to make those memories." Then the 2nd said..... "Wow..... We could actually have friends over, and get a pet."

I am so deeply hooked on my wife. WTF.