My mother used this tactic to shame us and bring us to our knees, figuratively speaking. It was very much a controlling behaviour, as well as a form of punishment, and a reminder that we were essentially only-barely-tolerated guests in our own home. I do believe she learned this behaviour from her own mother. In her case, it was a toxic and controlling thing, and it was actually painful to experience.

My husband grew up in the same kind of atmosphere as I did, and now has trouble with certain forms of communication. I work on it with him, and sometimes even make some advances, though they are usually small and might only be temporary. He is not silent to be cruel. He is silent because he was never shown how to be open and remain safe with another person. In his home life, if you opened yourself up to anyone, they would take that opportunity to rip you up and mock you and belittle you. So, understanding how this has happened has helped a great deal.

I usually give him some space, and eventually he will come to me and explain, as best he can, why he acts the way he does, what was on his mind at the time, etc. He clams-up when stress gets to be too much, and it's almost always because of work. And I do have to, still, work at not taking it personally.

For whatever reason people do it, it could have different motives and learned behaviours behind it. Some are toxic and patently unhealthy; others might be because of old wounds.

I wish each and every one of you some relief from the pain and demoralization this can cause, however you find your solutions.