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TishaBuv
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TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
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Default Jan 03, 2023 at 11:19 PM
 
This time, I did not have the intense meltdown. We did not have the “reward”. I eliminated that part of the toxic dance, the reinforcement.

Things are calm here, back to normal.

I realize part of the problem is that I experienced trauma with intimacy in a few key ways before him, and then in this relationship with him. It was not dealt with properly and I didn’t get the support I needed. It all got compounded worse.

My husband is willing to take a break from the intimacy and just let me exist here without the triggers. I just need some time without being triggered. I feel I can be alright if I avoid them.

I don’t know what will happen after that. I pray for more patience with him. I will look at it as he just has a very different way of seeing things and terrible communication skills.

It’s the strangest thing in the world. I have never seen another relationship like it, where we get along so well aside from a HUGE issue that makes me seriously ill.

I am sorry for my callous posts of recent on this thread. I am grateful and do value him. I’d say I feel ashamed (I do), but I don’t want to beat myself up.

I feel like I am making some progress.

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