So New T told me he would try to send me the new boundaries today and if I agreed to them I could set up our next session. I have been anxiously checking my email and have not gotten anything... can't help but have doubts.

Twice this evening I have seen my unread messages count increase by one and have eagerly jumped over to check. The first was awesome T checking in because he expected to hear from me over the holiday and had not. Lots and lots of tears. Spent a long time trying to craft a reply to him that was honest and open about where I am at but that did not put him back into the role of therapist.
And, just now he sent a reply.

The contrast between them is hard. I know new T cares about me and awesome T loves me and they both have my best interest in mind. They are very different people with the same title in my life but at very different places. I am trying very hard to hold the "both/and" in my mind and I think I am doing a good job but it is so hard to know when there are not any unbiased outside views to help.

It is also really hard right now not to feel as though new T is manipulating to see what my reaction will be if he doesn't send it.

Patience...