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I have this saying 'if you want to be treated as a person then you need to act like a person'. That is my take on the whole 'feminine' thing. I see people trying to do some combination of sexy and competent and they do seem to battle with guys not really treating them as competent / seeing them as a sexual object. My motto is: 'if you want to be treated as a person then you need to act like a person'.

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But a 'person' who likes their feminity IS dressing like a person. When is treated as a sexual object it isn't because she's 'asking' for that treatment, it's because she becomes the object of another's projection and / or prejudices.

I have just discovered, after more than half my life dressing in comfy jeans, 'shirts', and sneakers, that feminie clothes are comfortable and fun too. This has curiously come about because my T dresses femininely. She isn't slim, nor fat, but she feels good expressing her femininity in pretty girlish clothing that almost always shows cleavage. So, imitating her (I wonder if there is a name for that--it isn't twinning, but copying T), I now own several skirts and a dress. I think I rejected my femininity as part of rejecting my mother who was rejecting.

But, the phone session, and having T's voice right in your ear. I love that too. It does feel very close, intimate to have T's voice right there... almost like I imagine it would sound and feel if all curled up in T's lap.