My mother is an alcoholic with significant mental health conditions. She is cruel and abusive, the definition of unreliable. She is not always in touch with reality and trying to ascertain truth with her is often impossible. I have just spoken to her and she claims to have been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect which could kill her. She claims I need to be tested for the same condition due to potential fatality. She claims her consultant is sending her a letter for her to pass on to me for me to take to my doctor for a referral. I have no idea what parts (if any) of this are true. She claims to have known for weeks but has not informed anyone, including her brother or nieces/nephews who are also at risk (assuming her story is true). She claims they didn't tell her what the condition is called.

This has brought out some big trauma responses in me (amongst other abuses/neglects, she facilitated my CSA). I feel very nauseous and I have a headache. I feel an existential dread. The prospect of relying on her for information (the letter) regarding my health is sickening. I also don't like the potential increased contact between us which this invites.