She is good at making comments that hit at my weaknesses. I feel guilt readily, and will apologize for something quite quickly. But there is a "twist" to the things she says.

Examples:
- She has gotten angry at me for years. A few times when she physically crowded me, I put my hands on my hips and stood up straight. Another time she was very agitated and loud and went to storm out of our room. I stood in front of the door and said, "Just wait. Just wait. Can we talk and keep this away from the kids." She has told the kids about me doing this and using my size and strength to intimidate her, which I never intended. Years ago she told me my posture was physically intimidating so I immediately began to make it a point to move away from her and sit down, or even sit on the floor when she became angry. She's never let it go that my body positioning intimidated her at one time though. So, she hits me with that in an argument and I apologize for it immediately, since probably 8 years.

- I've encouraged the kids for years to support their mom, to forgive their mom because she wasn't herself due to illness or mental illness, to ask to spend time with her, to wait for her to come out of the bedroom to join us for movie night, etc. BUT, once in a while, I say something negative. Then I apologize and correct myself for saying that to the kids. My wife hits me with the negative examples she has heard, never acknowledging the hundreds and hundreds of other examples. Because I carry guilt for those weaknesses I apologize every time. I know I shouldn't have said so much to the kids, or spoken negatively about their mom.

I really am expected to be perfect in all my interactions, apologize forever for the times I'm not, and to understand and excuse the times she isn't kind to me.

RDM