We have family issues I don’t know how to deal with. The issues have reached the point where some family members do not want to be around other members.

Communication is our family’s worst nightmare. You know the telephone game? Yeah, we couldn’t get the message correctly to the first person.
We are good people who adore each other and are actually a very close family. We just can’t communicate effectively and do not deal well with criticism.

We have a 34 yo son with a fiancé and her 2 girls ages 9 and 11 from a prior marriage. They have been together for years and we love them. But the rest of our family is experiencing some problems with them and we are finally tired of putting up with them. One involves particulars about their lifestyle and the other involves the unacceptable behavior of their 9 yo. The details are not pertinent to the solution.

I know there are others out there who have had to deal with trying to bring a family back together. I am not looking for mental health answers. I am hoping someone has suggestions on how I can delicately approach my son and his family to discuss the fact that they need help. How do you tell someone they need to clean up their life (and house), start disciplining their child and all four of them need to see a mental health counselor (primarily for the 9yo). They are wonderful people with big hearts, a love of life and family.

I don’t want to hurt their feelings or alienate them. But I don’t want them excluded from the family either. If you have dealt with this and had success please share your advice. Thanks.