Hello,

If I give you these:

- very fragmental childhood and early teenage years memories/feeling of having forgotten most of it;
- strong aversion to being touched;
- fear of being looked at;
- always wears several layers of clothes when going out in the public;
- making sure to stay as skinny as possible to keep the impression of being difficult to notice;
- aversion to romance and sex, no desire to have sex but I think I still have libido;
- persistent sadness and apathy;
- no feeling of needing to socialise;
- self-harm for no apparent reason;
- fear of losing control around people (will never drink a drop of alcohol in presence of other people);

- difficulty to take care of self;
- sleeps a lot;
- avoided school medical visits + P.E. especially when it was swimming;

- sexual drawings from childhood;
- sexual nightmares making me wake up in distress (rare);
- strong anxiety and self-hatred when a girl I "dated" (I didn't dare to say no when she asked me out) asked me to touch myself (we were 14 years old). I did it because I didn't dare to tell her no. I hated myself for it.


What does all of this make you think about?


In case it's important: male, 22 years old.