I'm so grateful for the kind support above. It's like my head was being held down under water, and - finally - I broke thru the surface and could inhale. So now I'm not emotionally distressed. I just have a backlog of stuff to catch up on. Today I got 5 things done.

@MuseumGhost - supporters here have extolled the benefits of routine and structure. I want to move in that direction, but it will be hard. All my life, from early childhood, I had a severe sleep disorder. (My mother even tried giving me port wine when I was a kid to see if that would help me fall asleep. It didn't. My grandmother gave me beer when I was a older. It helped a little.) I never have had a usual time to go to bed and to get up. I never fell asle ep at the same time any two nights in a row. Work kept me a little regulated. But often I went to work with little sleep. Just like, as a kid, I often went to school with little sleep. Then I would come home and collapse. That's why I've never developed the habits of planning and routine. I just can't predict what time I'll be able to haul myself out of bed to start my day. For instance, last night I couldn't sleep. I fell asleep, finally, at 6 a.m. this morning. When I worked, it forced some structure on my time usage. But now I'm retired. So I have to find some self-discipline, which I don't have much of.

Today was shot because I slept all morning. I do want to stop living so chaotically. My antidepressant (amitriptyline) does help a bit. It promotes sleep. I'm taking it earlier. But I have to start setting an alarm and getting up at a regular time and doing stuff.

At least, now, I'm not despondent. While I was, nothing mattered. Now I am motivated. I hope I can improve.

A tendency toward depression is not a person's fault. However, managing that mood disorder is a responsibility of the individual. Failure to make a decent effort to manage one's mood disorder does indicate a lack of character, IMHO. I don't want to be guilty of that. And I have been. This past year I dealt with an unusual spate of physical ailments. I had severe diverticulitis, followed by bleeding ulcers causing severe anemia. I was in the ER 5 times. They admitted me 3 times. That is all resolved now, and I'm in good health at present. So it's high time I got my act together. I really need to start planning my days. Good habits can keep the momentum going when disappointments happen and sap one's resolve.

I read with great interest what others post about how they are helped by routine. I'll keep looking for posts like that to inspire me. Thank you all for the specific suggestions, like a planning app, the cleaning thread. etc.