Dear T,

I'm proud of myself. I hope you'll be proud too! I did what you suggested... Looked for an opportunity to practice my sharing and took it. And it was actually better than I thought it would be. It is hard when R doesn't really support it though. So I had a chocolate orange left over from Christmas. I LOVE chocolate orange, but I was in work tonight and thought it might be a nice gesture to take it in and practice sharing things. And then I didn't want to. I wanted to keep it and eat it all myself. And then I thought maybe I could take it in and give them say four pieces each, but then I remembered that that isn't 'free', is it. That is preplanned, restrictive and what I said I want to try and change. So I went back to thinking I would take it in and just put it on the desk for us all to share, randomly. I'm trying to remember if I've ever done anything like that before, and I'm not sure I have. I've definitely given people things in the past, but not like this, just open for them to take as they want to.

Oooh, is it all tied in I wonder? I do think it is, but hadn't looked at it that way before. Opening myself up for people to just take, in a way. Maybe that's why I have to be so guarded with everything. Because people have taken way too much before...

Anyway, R wasn't massively onboard. He said I should share with him. But then he never buys things or has things to share back, and we are VERY strict with everything we buy for us both. Fair is fair and we each have half. But the guys at work always bring things in and I never really reciprocate, so I wanted to, especially with who I was on with tonight, they are good guys.

So, long story short, in the end I took the orange in, cracked it open and we shared it between us. Properly, freely, shared. I did not keep count of who had what, and I even left the last piece for someone else to have! I'm amazed actually. It seems silly as I imagine this isn't something most people struggle with, but I do, and at least I have acknowledged it as something I would like to work on. And I did. So I'm proud.