I email T every month. I update her on my life and how my therapy with L is going. At first, yes!, I felt like I was cheating on them with eachother. Now that it's been 4 years since I started with L, I don't feel like I'm cheating on either one. Instead, they are both a part of my life, both a part of my team. There is no competition between them, no fears of favoritism, each are confident in their roles in my life. They know both are important to me, and both just want what's best for me and trust me to make my own decisions.

I think, at least for me, the fear of cheating is because that's what I experienced in my life: favoritism, not being able to share friends, jealousy, being pulled in two different directions. But mainly favoritism. But I'm learning that that's not how healthy relationships work. That two people can love you at the same time without being threatened by the other person. It's still hard for me to grasp sometimes. Okay, a lot of times.