5:30 still no sleep even with 2 benadryl. I'm uncomfortably wired. I think I'm going through a mixed episode. My son will visit my husband tomorrow. I'm to twitchy and nervous to go to the hospital. It looks like I'm on a bunch of drugs when I'm not. Then there's the random crying, the constant movement or the paranoia that they may make me stay.

I reached out to h's best friend. I don't know if anything should happen I should be making choices for my husband. So I'm going to be honest with his friend how I'm doing and see what he has to say. He's the one that is soupose to make decisions if we're to sick to.