Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
This just hurts.
I cried hard last night. I can't understand why my mistakes and wrongs are unforgivable, and to tell her she's doing things that are hurting us all is a heinous thing to say.
I don't understand how she can be ok leaving us all.
And I keep wondering what ELSE I can say or do to get through to her.
She came to the house today and I just ached to hold her and for us all to be ok.
RDM
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RDM, it hurts yes, but the sooner that you can accept reality, the easier it will be for you AND for your children. If you place their well being as #1, and your own as #1 as well, it should be easier to let go and accept what is happening.
Emotionally you are holding on - and you are blaming yourself still. This is not doing you any good or your children. It's very unhealthy. And to tell her point blank that she is hurting you and the children is simply factual - it's not heinous.
To blame yourself for your wife's abuse will continue to hold you back. It's alarming that you refuse to see her for who and what she is (an abuser and an alcoholic) and instead look at yourself for what you could have done better. The enabling has got to stop at some point. Please address this with your therapist.