Things reached a point a while ago where I couldn't validate everyone.

To validate her meant the kids weren't.

I read some stuff tonight about borderline personality disorder. It's rare to show up at her age, but it is possible. The stuff that was described matched my experience very closely. I think it's been progressing for about 6 years now.

I also think the disrupted sleep and alcohol caused their own issues.

Letting go is hard. I hung on through years of health issues looking for answers to get her back, expecting things to improve as her health improved.