I love that about your T leaning forward. There have been a couple of times when T has been kind of stern and directive with me (in a nice way) and I loved it, because I felt like he was taking care of me and looking out for my best interest.

About the xanax - for me (I only take 1/2 of one) it doesn't really zone me out - it just makes the anxiety go away. It's so strange - I can be in a situation that I KNOW would normally cause me anxiety (like being alone in the house at night) and I pretty much feel like "ho hum". I know I "should" feel anxious, but I just don't.

I don't know if I would take it for the first time before a big meeting though, since you don't know how you're going to react to it. That is totally just my opinion, and it's coming from someone who knows nothing about psych meds, so you can take it or leave it.

I'm so glad that in the middle of all of this, you have your T to lean on. (((((((((((( sunrise ))))))))))))))