I want to say that I can admit to myself that I'm not perfect but in reality, when I am actually seeing my flaws, I often shame myself. In my first posts, I disclosed things I find shameful, but still mostly others fault or at least not fault. Like being rejected, where things I have done might be a big part in why, but without any intention to be rejected. Also, my contribution to it has often been stuff that I've tried to work on, such as being to shy to be fun at parties.

While I am still stuck at upsets from my teens and early twenties, lingering on past rejections and critiscism, there is another story to be told. One where I am antagonist. I have plenty of uncharismatic habits and a history of misteps that I rather forget.

Truth is I think too much about myself, and too little of others - until they best me and then I instead put them on a pedistal. I don't care very much about others' thoughts, feelings, or plans - I mostly wait for my turn to speak, judge them, or think about how it concerns me. I'm often not interested in stepping out of my (ego-centric) narrative. I'm easiliy offended and slow to forgive. In fact, I often do not forgive if I don't get a chance to say my story and have it acknowledged by the other party.

In short, I can be very immature. Not exactly a hero that was simply given a tough deal.