Thank you @Rosi700. Another pdoc said he thought bipolar was too heavy duty a diagnosis for me. That's what I think. I don't think I had any distress during birthing. It was a normal and unremarkable pregnancy and delivery. I'm not a big believer in trying to trace difficulties of living to some organic brain dysfunction. I don't doubt that we can have some inborn tendencies that may be problematic. Mostly I think experience shapes our minds. Over time our behavior can alter our brains.

I have been too isolated from early childhood. Humans are social animals. It's not normal or good to be alone almost all the time. Anyone who lives that way is bound to become depressed. I need to venture out and connect. Your group walk interests me. I was reading that the Sierra Club sponsors walks in my area. I want to look into that.

Today I didn't really accomplish anything. Tomorrow I will do better. I need to commit sections of time to getting goals accomplished.