So the benadryl didn't work and I wanted to take more than the 2 so I didn't bother taking it last night. H wants me to go IP because I broke down last night. I'm going to try one more out patient option that I found. I really don't want to go to the ER because they're more likely to keep me and I'm scared of covid and people. My nephew is coming up. I really don't want my family or his to know I went ip. I don't feel I need IP. Yes I need sleep. Yes my moods all over and I'm hallucinating but I feel it's like throwing a nuke at a disruptive ant hill.