I think there were things going on that you were not aware of until this pandemic. You were so busy trying to make a living to support your family.

In therapy your approach was that of how could you change yourself and not talking about your wife. Yet as I read what you share it concerns me in how willing you are to take on the blame for the dysfunction taking place. The problem with this approach is it doesn’t matter how much we change when it’s the other person that has the problem.

You need to talk about your wife’s behavior in therapy. A therapist should know what you are dealing with so he/she can help you understand that you can’t change or fix your wife. Also you need to learn how you are being emotionally manipulated. Your oldest can see it.