Today has been one of the worst in a long time. I felt nothing most of the morning, then at lunch a huge anxiety spike and then a deep depression. I think it's all just getting too hard. I've been thinking that I might need to find a new home for my dog. I think we both hurt so much where things stand and she deserves better. I know not to make any big decisions like that, feeling the way I do. But nothing is getting better and something needs to change drastically. I guess I love her more that I love myself.

What a terrible day.