For many years I could never cry anywhere, even by myself. I wanted to and needed to but couldn't and it felt horrible.
My biggest fear was that if I felt bad feelings I would make my parents/T feel that way too and then we would both be out of control and I would be unsafe and all alone. (also worried I would go crazy, become angry etc. if I would feel too much)
I have now cried twice with my therapist. She didn't comfort me or react at all. She knows my fear and I hope that is why she didn't. As much as I long for her to hold me and comfort me I think I would have freaked if she would have attempted to touch me. I hope I get over that because I want more than anything to not be afraid of to get close to people.