H's friend convinced me to call the crisis line. Which directed me over to a hospital walk in clinic. I was 8 min late. They took my name and address and told me to come back at 9 am. So I have to go tomorrow morning. This is so scary to do without H. Miguel has been amazing. Taking me to and from the hospital. I'm so ****ed but they have awesome programs on paper. So we'll see. Gotta.