The things you mentioned that you have done for a living are all things that individuals with ADD and ADHD gravitate towards doing. They like structure and motion and this is what allows them to learn better too. Trucking provides motion and changing scenery and that is calming and satisfying.

I believe you did have a nice time with your sons when your wife was away as you decorated the house for the holidays together. Your sons are probably a lot more like you in being productive and doing so with others.

I am married to a man that has ADHD and it’s been a big challenge for me in that my husband tends to take over “space” and not see how he can be intrusive. I think if I had two others like him in my home environment I could get overwhelmed.

I never abused alcohol myself but I have experience in dealing with a spouse who has. Alcohol use disorder or other drug addictions destroys relationships. I am wondering if your wife started using alcohol to escape stress and developed a problem that made her challenge even more complex than things already were for her.

I think your wife does need help and that this group she has gotten involved with is not providing her with the right kind of help. I think this group is operating on “a victim of abuse” mentality that gets unhealthy. The big red flag for me is how your wife has started saying you did things you did not do.

People that have learning disabilities tend to struggle with low self esteem. I say learning disabilities, yet I think caution needs to be taken with that description because all it really means is individuals that do not learn according to what is considered the way students are expected to learn. People with ADD and ADHD are not stupid, some can actually be extremely intelligent. It’s how they learn and process that’s different than what’s considered normal.

Your family needs a therapist that has knowledge about ADD and ADHD and other challenges that can lead to family dysfunction and poor communication.

I think there has been a growing trend towards determining that relationship challenges are black and white of one is the narcissist and the other is a victim. Yes, there are narcissistic individuals in society. Yet there is also a lot of misguided social interactions that are causing a lot of harm.