My T said the weirdest thing today, and it really threw me. She said "I wanted to reach out and touch you, to let you know..."(I'm not sure I remember correctly what came next) "but I wouldn't touch you". She said it after I had had one of my dissociations, and the subsequent real struggle to communicate and bout of deep sadness that came. I turned away from her and was just quietly struggling with my sadness. And then she got a tissue and I asked if she was sad. She said she had been sad, yes.

I sent her an email asking why she wouldn't touch me. I'm intrigued to hear her answer. I don't think she agrees with touch in therapy, even though she knows my Ex T and I used it a lot, and what a positive experience it was for me. I explained after that touch allowed the sadness to come, with Ex T, as I could feel safer rather than just with her just sat there.

But yeah, just found it a bit odd that someone who doesn't really agree with it would say that they wanted to. It confused me a little.