Hugs if wanted, Waterbear--I'm sorry. That sounds really difficult and confusing.

Some T's just don't use touch, like won't allow hugs, touching a shoulder, etc. Mine allows handshakes at the end, but that's it, and he's made it very clear that's his policy. But he's also made it clear from the very beginning, so I could have left if I felt touch was something I wanted. He's concerned about it being confusing, lines being blurred. Like maybe the client would interpret something that wasn't there, for example--I do feel like hugs could be a bit confusing for me, honestly.


Though there was one particular session that was really difficult and emotional for me (stuff going on with my daughter) where I told him later I wished I could have had a hug at the end, though I knew not to ask for one (he said it's good I didn't ask, because he would have had to say no, which he knew would have hurt me). Which is not at all judging people who get hugs or other touch from their T's. Ex-T eventually allowed occasional hugs.

Has your T been clear about use of touch? Even if she has been, I see how that comment would be confusing. I hope she responds well to your email.