Hello jrblueing. I see this is your first post here on MSF. Welcome to the forums. I hope you find them to be of benefit.

You mentioned you've been married for over 25 years. I've been married for over 40. From my perspective, what you wrote is just how long-term marital relationships go. Yes, your wife shouldn't have yelled at you. But you're right, she just had surgery and perhaps should be cut some slack.

My wife has done some things I felt she shouldn't have done; but at the same time there's an ocean-liner's worth of things I've said / done that I know I shouldn't have. (And the hell of it is I still do them even though I wish I wouldn't. But somehow, I just keep doing them.)

When one's been married as long as I have one comes to realize (I think) it takes an ocean-liner's worth of compassion as well as forgiveness, and sometimes downright stubbornness, to keep things going over the long haul. In the whole scheme of things, your wife yelling at you because you wouldn't run a red light is (hopefully) a mistake that can be forgiven. My best wishes to you both.